Barefoot & Wagon
Volume 48, Issue 7
By Paige Sichs

Lil’ Rascals of Remuneration
You won’t meet a bigger supporter of free-market capitalism than Barefoot and Wagons.
Child-labor laws – a sad charade if ever there was one – are totally outdated in a globalized society. The entrepreneurial spirit of Ocean Beach’s youngest is always a pleasure to observe. Yes, their parents work around the clock to provide them with a good life, a life where hopefully no want will go unfulfilled; and clearly their parents have earned a certain measure of success, owning or renting a beach home for the summer.
But that’s no excuse for the kids not to work. Send them out there! There’s a thirst for lemonade and painted shells in this town that only wagonfuls of six-year-olds have any chance at slaking.
That said, as we deboated the other day we nearly stepped on about five of the mercantile cherubim who were standing on the busiest portion of a busy dock, asking passersby if they needed assistance with their luggage.
Amid the unloading of grocery carts, strollers and folded wheelchairs, the shifting of pallets, the harried movements of over-excited dogs and overloaded Radio Flyers and sleepy New Yorkers trying to find their grocery bags stood this intrepid band of tow-headed youngsters, offering their services.
Who can refuse a little boy or girl selling lemonade – yes, who can refuse? However, who can accept that same gesture when it comes to luggage transport? Who would load up the wagon of three little kids and let them drag their stuff a half-mile in the July heat? I see the accusing stares of strangers when they notice how comfortable you are with delegating to an elementary-schooler the labor of transporting your luggage and groceries. I see wagons tipping Samsonite onto small toes and fingers, and I see lawsuits.
Folks, when the Flyer pulls in on a July morning, the cargo area of the ferry dock is perhaps not the best place for a squadron of small children to make a buck. Teach those kids to operate a sewing machine or something.

Vote Other Guy
The Democratic National Committee paid a visit to Ocean Beach on Saturday, July 17; or, rather, came to Ocean Beach looking to get paid. Three red-shirted volunteers were standing in town, saying to pedestrians, “Hi, interested in helping us defeat George Bush?”
Village administrator Ethan Repp said this was the first time he had heard of either political party sending reps to canvass Fire Island streets.
Despite a John Kerry sticker on the back of her clipboard, the DNC volunteer pointed out that the Dems have yet to officially pick a candidate – that won’t happen until the convention in Boston starting July 26 – so perhaps it makes sense that they’re not identifying their own presumptive candidate by name. Or perhaps they feel revulsion with the Dunce Prince is more bankable than longing for JFK II.
About these nameless Dems, is it too late for the pretty one and the one with the catcher’s-mitt face to switch places? I’m just saying, that might help.

Found on Craigslist.org
This caught our eye June 19.
“Free Ride to the Beach.
I have a car and want to go to the Jones Beach, Fire Island or NJ beach. If interested let me know. I am a 32 yr old guy, I prefer younger female companions. Come alone or bring a friend or two. I am new in town. Thanks!”
A 32-year-old guy that prefers younger, female companions? Eerie.
Lil’ Raffle of Remuneration
The raffle and silent auction held in front of the Union Free Church raised more than $5,000 for the multi-denominational church.
“It was successful enough that we’ll probably do it again next year,” said organizer Shirley Smith Wersebe.
The Fire Island News editor-in-chief and publisher Nicole Pressly bid on a really neat wooden mask carved from a log. Sadly, she was outbid and is now considering closing the office and leaving Fire Island all together.
It’s a mournful time for us all.

Searchlights and Binoculars
The Ocean Beach and Suffolk County Police departments are being understandably tight-lipped about it, but Saturday, July 17, there was an apparent domestic dispute involving an Ocean Beach resident and an unidentified woman, according to a village official. Suffolk cops were called in and apparently managed to arrest, handcuff and place the suspect in a squad car.
He then apparently found his way out of the squad car and headed west, into Lonelyville.
All that could be confirmed as of press time was that the Suffolk County Police Aviation Section sent a helicopter to comb the island from 11 p.m. to midnight with a million-candlewatt searchlight and infrared binoculars that can spot people hidden in dunes, on the beach or even in the water from the heat signal they give off, according to Suffolk Police Sgt. Brian Barrett.
The helicopter, which typically cruises 600 or 700 feet above the ground, caught the attention of many Fire Islanders, especially the paranoid ones.