The Grove Gang
Volume 49, Issue 4
Bella’s Titillating Tidbits

Hello, my beauties! I am so very grateful to again be sharing this column with some of my favorite Grovers – Susan Freedner, Linda Dickerman and Bruce-Michael Gelbert. Thank God there is enough happening in Cherry Grove for each of us to write about and keep all of you entertained and in the know.

I cannot believe it is nearly July and the Invasion will soon be upon us. Its close to the point where you have to stop bringing stuff out to the Island and start thinking about what has to go back. With all the schlepping my cart is always full; I wouldn’t change it for the world… I love Fire Island. Trust me, I don’t take it for granted either. I thank God for each and every day that I’m here.

This should be a very exciting year for the Invasion, I’m sure. After all, it marks the 29th anniversary of us invading the Pines. I can’t wait to meet and be greeted by all my beautiful sisters over there. If you have never invaded, please do join us… you must! What are you waiting for? It is Sooooooooo much fun!

When I look back over these 30 years – boy-oh-boy, I think how things have changed. I remember when dancing in the Ice Palace was a no-no unless there was one female for every two males that were on the dance floor. If not, Jimmy Murray would throw you out himself; men just weren’t allowed to dance together. Oh sister, how that has changed.

Since we’re on the subject of the Ice Palace, let me remind you I will do only two shows this season so mark your calendars! The first is on Monday, July 4 at 9:00 p.m. That’s right, right after the Invasion. The second will be Sunday, August 14 at 9:00 p.m. I’ll also host the Breast Cancer Benefit on Sunday, July 24th, and act as co-hostess with Panzi at the Saja Lee Memorial show on Sunday, August 21 at 9:00 p.m., which benefits the Visiting Nurse Service of New York’s hospice.

Brunches to Lunches

From brunches and lunches to backyard barbeques and candle-lit suppers, what would this island be without our celebrated gatherings around the table? Have you been to any good parties lately? I had the pleasure of attending Minnie and Allen’s wonderful Memorial Day barbeque, and when I say wonderful I mean … potato salad! Oh God, the best I’ve ever had. I’d love to get the recipe. And speaking of recipes, I’d like to share with you one of my Mama’s, which is one of my favorites –

Lentils Italian Style:

1 package of rinsed lentils in a pot

1 small can of chicken broth (add enough cold water to cover lentils)

add 4 celery stalks and

4 carrots cut small

salt/pepper

1 cup olive oil

1 small can of Del Monte tomato sauce

dash of oregano

1 large onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, course cut

bring pot to boil then simmer for 45 minutes to an hour

boil a second pot of water and add 1 pound of tubatini pasta

cook for eight minutes, drain and add to lentils

sprinkle with freshly grated Italian cheese and… Bon appetito!

What to do when one isn’t hob-knobbing over the crudités on the neighbor’s deck? Find some reason to put on a dress! The Imperial Court of New York hosted their annual Drag Tag Sale on Sunday, June 12. I couldn’t believe all the Pines muscle boys who came over to shop for cute little frocks to don for the Invasion. As I told one of the bronzed beauties, he wasn’t going to find Gucci, Pucci or Fiorucci but I pointed him toward an Altieri Couture original that might just fit him. I saw Rose Levine perusing the five-dollar table and I think she made a purchase. Now she’s set for the next Night of a Thousand Gowns. All had a Fabulous time and a record amount of money was raised to sponsor the ICNY Pride Parade float which will chariot this year’s reigning ICNY monarchs Emperor XIV Tony Monteleone and Empress XIX Robin Kradles flanked by a dazzling array of courtly subjects.

While we are on the subject of drag… Johny Poole had his annual Drag Attack party at Cherry’s on Tuesday, June 21. Believe me when I tell you there was nothing funnier than seeing my dear sister Miss Poole in drag! To tell you the truth though, after taking a look around at the other “girls,” by comparison Johnny was quite lovely. God only knows what rock those ladies crawled out from under. Chest, arm and leg hair – even goatees- were all in full bloom; not a clipper to be found among them. It was great to share a few laughs and to see the guys let their hair down (even if it was under their arms!)

On a more serious note: cell phone users, are you having as much trouble as I am with dropped calls and poor reception? Most people I talk with sure seem to be. Why? There just aren’t enough towers to pick up our signals. I see people climbing to high decks and rooftops, hopping on one foot or twisted like a pretzel trying to get connected. I think we should all register complaints with our carriers about the lack of service they are providing and keep after them until they do something about this serious problem.

Now, for my own serious problem, my personal Hell, the raccoon saga continues! I told of the raccoon nesting with her newborn on my deck. Well, I thought I got rid of them but I didn’t Blanche. She took her pup to nest deep under my house, climbing onto the beams and digging between my floorboards and my tenants bathroom floor. Well, she may want in but I want her out! What’s a woman to do? I can’t seal the hole until I get rid of her and no matter who I call, they reply: “I don’t do raccoons…” Mary, just like I don’t’ do windows! Any suggestions for a damsel in distress? Please help me, kind sir.

STOP the Presses!

I simply must tell you all about the wonderful show presented by the Arts Project of Cherry Grove on Saturday night, June 25. For one night only (too bad…) the marvelously talented Jacqueline Joneé returned to the stage of the APCG Community house in “A Date With Liberace.” In her loving tribute to “Lee” Miss Jonee channeled the late, great queen of the Las Vegas Strip through clever arrangements of the songs and playing style that earned him the moniker “Mr. Showmanship.” Interspersed with a witty and tender telling of his life story, this homage flowed superbly through song, dialogue and countless costume changes. On a humorous note, of which there were many throughout, Jacqueline turned toward the audience to wink, just as Lee used to, and leaned too far into the piano mike, catching her hair on it. Not easily flustered, Miss Joneé milked the moment for a few more laughs joking once freed, “Do I still have a ‘Doo’?” I turned to her husband Ric and said, “If that wasn’t planned, tell her to leave it in!” After the second show guests were treated to a champagne toast during the 10:15 fireworks display over the bay. What a wonderful way to celebrate our Heritage of Pride on this Gay Pride weekend. Until next time, my Sweets…