A Legendary Night in the Grove
Volume 49, Issue 5
By Mike Lavers

Mandi’s bequeathment of her homecoming queen crown to Connie Francis along with Panzi’s yodeling-inspired rendition of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” and Luisa Verde’s harrowing account of how she found her way to Fire Island’s sandy shores from her native Vieques were three of the myriad of highlights from the Arts Project of Cherry Grove’s production of “Legends in their Own Minds” at the Cherry Grove Community House on July 2.

The production, lauded as a celebration of past and present homecoming queens, featured reigning homecoming queen Ivanna Cocktail alongside Mandi, Panzi and Luisa Verde. Ariel Sinclair, Donna Piranha, Charity, Philomena, Cobra, China, Timothea and Sylvia Shapiro, also known as Legs LaBohn, also made an appearance before a packed house for both performances. Emcee Matt Baney posed a variety of questions to the queens about their respective reigns and they, in turn, responded with a variety of answers that left the audience in stitches.

Shapiro, who reigned in 1995, said that the key to maintaining a youthful look during any reign is to eat healthy. She noted that she begins each day by eating a bagel with a little schmear and follows that with meals of matzo ball soup and gefilte fish. But in the end, however, Shapiro said that if this diet fails, the second best thing to do is to lie.

“Age is rather unimportant unless you are a piece of cheese,” she said.

Sinclair, who was crowned homecoming queen in 1998, put to rest once and for all a common myth. She admitted her shoe size – five and a half petite – but added that “it is not true about the size of the shoe.”

Speaking of size, Charity, who reigned in 2003 and was Miss Fire Island back in 1968, proudly proclaimed that she was a “fabulous svelte size 10” when she was homecoming queen. When pressed by Baney about her current figure, however, Charity couldn’t take the heat and ran offstage in tears.

The queens also participated in an impromptu talent show that featured, among other things, Luisa Verde as a barefoot and pregnant woman fighting with her good-for-nothing husband and Philomena making over Timothea in her own likeness. But in the end, it was Panzi, who made her grand entrance riding a motorized scooter, who summed up the true essence of the show.

“Tonight we are here to celebrate the talent of royalty,” she said.