Saltaire Summery
By Hugh O’Brien

We’re gonna get night bike riding, we’re gonna get night bike riding, we’re gonna get night bike riding, we’rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr —No!— No we’re not, no we’re not, nope, not, not yet, not quite yet... Almost, you know, almost, but not quite, not just yet. Pretty close, nearly, but just a bit short.

Saturday, June 24, 2006, will be remembered for at least a week as the day Saltaire almost cast nine decades of tradition aside to allow, tentatively, as an experiment for this summer only, nighttime bicycle riding in at least parts of the village. Despite incessant downpours, flooded walks and a large ark-like craft seen voyaging down Broadway with a cargo of two deer, two mosquitoes and two ticks aboard, large numbers of citizens turned out at the board meeting to voice their views on the latest hot-button issue to descend upon the community… And voiced they were. The topic was argued out to the point of exhaustion, with four or five hands still raised for recognition to make their owners’ points when Mayor Scott at last called for a dinner break. (Trustees always eat early.)

In the end, after listening to such a wide range of opinions, and sifting the various comments and their own good judgments, the board was compelled by law to leave the matter undecided until a really, truly, final version of the statute was readied. Which, I am relieved to say has been accomplished. Because this temporary suspension of the no-night-riding provision must be enacted soon if this tryout is to be worth anything at all, the board will meet again this Monday, July 3, at 9:00 at the firehouse meeting room, to discuss the final revised version and decide whether to adopt it.

The fundamentals… The version being considered would permit night bike riding on the promenades—Lighthouse, Bay and Harbor—plus Broadway. Riders would be required to use a light—preferably a permanently affixed light on the bike itself, but a hand-held flashlight if necessary—and obey all the usual bike regulations—ringing bells at intersections, and as a warning or for other’s safety; riding slowly and with caution, etc. Basically, just like the nine months of the year when night riding is already permitted. Only in summer, with a lot more people around, riders will have to exercise even greater care to make sure no accidents, to themselves as well as to others, occur.

As you’d expect, there’s a great deal of non-agreement about this proposed leap into the dark, and that phrasing wasn’t chosen deliberately. Many people wanted very different levels of riding—permit it everywhere, only on the four walks above, only on three (minus Harbor), only on Lighthouse, not on Broadway—you name it, every permutation imaginable was put forth and given serious consideration. As was the other alternative—keep the ban in place, period. Speaking personally, per an observation I made at the meeting, there is no altogether satisfactory solution. No option is the answer to every person’s wishes, or a cure-all for the problem of bike riding violations. We can only try something which might, or might not, work out.

One thing to keep in mind, well two things, really. First, the proposed law also empowers the board to modify or terminate any suspension of the no nighttime riding rule– in other words, if it appears after a few weeks that, say, bike safety rules are still being broken, or people aren’t using lights, or travel on Harbor (a source of some controversy) is unsafe—whatever problems may be seen—the board can immediately change or eliminate altogether the suspension of the no-riding law, and either put the ban back into effect or alter the conditions under which night biking is permitted; so nothing is written in stone, or cement.

Second, this suspension, if adopted—and that bears repeating: IF—is for the balance of this summer only. It ends when normal, permitted night bike riding resumes in mid-September, and does not carry over into 2007. In order to permit legal night biking next year and ever after, the board will have to change the law permanently, and that will only occur if this year’s experiment is deemed a success. Ken Preston very wisely reminded everyone Saturday that an experiment must carry some criteria for success; he asked, what are our criteria for determining whether summertime night bike riding is successful. Good question. Weak answer, maybe, and again speaking only for myself: like the Supreme Court’s old line about pornography—I’ll know it when I see it. If people are riding safely– using lights, going slowly, obeying the other bike laws and regs, not riding on walks where they’re not supposed to– if there is no spike in incidents involving pedestrians or other bikers, no rise in accidents or injuries—then this might be construed as a success. Certainly it would be a positive indication. But in the end there is also a large subjective element in weighing the efficacy of this policy.

So come in for Monday’s basically do-or-die meeting, because if it’s not approved then, it’s not likely to be at all. Your opinion, whatever it may be, still counts. Nothing is pre-ordained. And there’s always the weekend cocktail circuit for proselytizing. Meantime, the usual no nighttime bike riding rules are still in effect. So don’t do it! And a word to advocates: if it is approved, this is your big chance to show night biking in summer can work. Don’t blow it by breaking all the other laws, tearing around without lights and so forth like it was still prohibited. If you do, you can be damn sure it will be banned again quicker than you can race across Lighthouse.

Now, um, another personal note. You may have noticed I used the phrase “speaking personally”, or some variant thereof, a couple of times in the previous passages. Apparently there are a few folks out there who claim to be unaware whether when I write I’m speaking for myself, the Board of Trustees, the Fire Department, or whatever other organizations I may be affiliated with. For the several hundred decades I’ve been writing this, 99% of the reading public seems to have had no difficulty distinguishing between when I’m writing personal commentary, objective general information, or, by far the rarest presentation, speaking on behalf of some group. In the few instances when it’s been the latter, I have always made this clear, with the subtlety of a sledgehammer: it’s always attributed. Basic informative info – the date of some event or the like – should be plain to anybody. Everything else can be construed as my opinion, viewpoint, take, slant, whatever. In cases where there might be some ambiguity – as above – I’ll make it clear whose views are being expressed, also as usual. It’s not a question of having things “both ways”, whatever that might mean. This has all been pretty clear-cut to most people since the beginning. However, for those few who may at times have been genuinely uncertain of who’s saying what, I hope this clears things up. For anyone simply seeking to create an issue, or overly sensitive, or whatever the case may be, just two words: LIGHTEN UP! I used the special sledgehammer key on my computer for that one.

While we’re on serious topics, though, I will speak out against a couple of incidents that allegedly took place the other week. Noel and Tori Feustel claimed that someone threw an egg or eggs at their house on two occasions that week, and while independent corroboration is sketchy, it is true that such an incident occurred last summer. What if anything is going on we can’t be sure, but if anyone is committing such acts, or even thinking of doing something so dumb, stop. Whatever anyone’s feeling about the present unpleasantness between the village and the Feustels, there is absolutely no excuse, whatsoever, for vandalism or harassment against anybody in this community. Better to set an example of what we like to think this village is all about and leave people alone. For the record, I did not write this at the behest of or in consultation with any colleague on the board or anyone else. However, I feel pretty secure in stating that in this instance my views are shared by them as well. As a personal opinion, I take much more comfort from the overwhelming support virtually every resident of this community has shown for the members of the village administration in these legal battles. Attacking someone or their property is not right, serves no purpose and won’t be tolerated. Violators are at risk of the law if caught. Oh, and sorry, Noel, my old friend, I did not throw any eggs at your house, an idea I heard you floated to Security. Even in my younger days I would never have been able to pitch something to a target 70 miles away, especially with the necessary pinpoint precision.

[Now, if I really wanted to take such things lightly—and to restate the obvious, I do not—I could have written instead about how the authorities are taking every precaution to crack down on the egg throwers. I could have said that Chip has banned the sale of eggs to minors, that Barry is inventorying shipments of eggbeaters, that the Camp’s Field Day has canceled the egg-toss contest, that Kim Lincoln has removed all copies of Humpty-Dumpty from the Library (not to mention F. Scott Fitzgerald), that the board is passing a resolution stating emphatically that the chicken did, indeed, come first. This is taking things lightly. There is nothing funny or “light” about Noel’s and Tori’s complaints – everything said above goes, in triplicate. But the alleged transgressions against them aside, everybody really should ease back a little: relax, Goddammit. This, too, happens to be my opinion.]

Okay… speaking of Camp—important dates to jot down. July 2, 9-10 a.m., orientation at the rec shed on Neptune Walk—the traditional meet-‘n’-greet for parents & campers and the directors, and an outline of the season’s activities. Immediately following at 10, counselor training session starts at said shed once the ‘rents and ‘reccers are hustled out. Monday July 3 is first day of camp, and I believe the 4th of July field day will actually be held on Tuesday the 4th. Easy!

Down the road a piece, the Grand and Glorious Saltaire Bazaar takes wing Saturday, July 15, from 1-3 at the firehouse, a genuine garage sale. As advertised: Treasures! Discoveries! [Rediscoveries!] Bake Sale! It’s the 82nd year for the GGSB and still going strong. The usual donor caveats apply…leave donations Saturdays and Sundays ONLY [sledgehammer key] at the tent on the deck behind the Security/Doctor’s offices at Broadway & Bay; good goods in good condition only; NO electronic equipment (TVs, radios, phonographs, CD players, speakers, robots, etc.) accepted! And no furniture donations until the day of sale! Proceeds proceed to the emptying coffers of the Fire Co. for the purchase of needed medical and/or fire equipment, and all much appreciated. Questions? Call Joy Brown (583-5958), Jenifer Cook (7502), Edie Watts (8545) or Eugenie Meluso (5865).

Incidentally, lots of press recently on a nice little factoid with a local touch…back in the ‘50s, when Harper Lee came to New York to get her start as a writer, she received as a Christmas [?: I believe Christmas] gift the promise of free room and board while she completed her novel, a welcome relief as she struggled to juggle her job with growing worries about having the time and wherewithal to complete her work. The book, of course, turned into “To Kill a Mockingbird”. The offer, and the encouragement, came from Michael & Joy Brown. Thank God for their assistance. Can you imagine a world without that lovely work? Very typical of Michael and his bride, of course. Now we all know.

Weddings to recap….Congratulations to Melissa Karp & Dave Smith, on the 17th, the uniting of two teammates from the Bulkheads, attended by all their cohorts on the team; from all reports a wonderful ceremony and a rare intra-island marriage. This Saturday, another Saltairian, David Fitzhugh, will wed Becky Smithmeyer in a ceremony to be performed by Judge Stanley Sklar in his chambers. Now that’s really keeping things in-house. And Elisabeth “Boo” Markus and Justine Sullivan tied the knot up on the Cape, also on the 17th, in an appropriately lavish (well, exceptionally nice) ceremony. Best wishes all around.

Finally, everything is in full swing, as reported last time, at the Club, including movies, and we may have some techno-news on that score at a later date. However, I got an email recently asking whether we’d run Al Gore starring in “An Inconvenient Truth” if it’s out on DVD before either the season or the planet ends. Be glad to, but as a precaution against its non-release before September, we’re programming other weather-related fare: “The Hurricane”. “The Day After Tomorrow”. “The Day the Earth Caught Fire” (reprised). And, just to cover all bases, “ San Francisco”. Plus a few more. After all, we’ve got 10 weeks of programming to fill. These are just the warm-ups. Stay cool.